The Next most important relationship is the one you have with YOURSELF. Momma, you have GOT to start cultivating this very important relationship. You cannot keep pouring out if you never refill. If you aren’t filled, you will come to the end of yourself and you will become depleted, which is not good for anyone.
If I am not at my best, I cannot give my best, and that isn’t fair to anyone! I NEED to be at my best! I WANT to be at my best! It may require some specific mindset shifts in order for you to get what you need. We love to talk about self-care. I bet you encourage your girlfriends to do it and even think, “why doesn’t she just take some time to herself and do something she loves?” But flip that coin… Do you? If not, why? Hmmm…. That is a great question isn’t it. Why…. We are given this life to steward and to fulfill the purpose God has for us. You are in charge of your atmosphere. When you surrender your pride and start to really cultivate this important relationship, you open the door to be filled with the Spirit of God, and when we are filled with the Spirit of God, we have opened the door to true self-care. What is it that you LOVE? Do you do that thing you love? Do you eat well? Do you move your body, stretch, and get your heart rate up? Just this past week I made the decision to get VERY serious about my self-care. It is very difficult to get any time to yourself when everyone needs you all of the time, and it takes being intentional and communicating your needs. Sometimes we even have to force the issue… And that is what I had to do. Everyone in my family needs me right now, and I have very little times of silence. When the babies are finally sleeping, my teen wants to chat. Of coarse I want to chat with him! He is so important and the babies take so much of my attention it is difficult to give anyone else any... Then, when the morning comes or the evening comes and all the kids are sleeping, or even on breaks during the day, my husband needs my attention. And he wants to talk too! And of coarse I want to listen to him and I want to talk to him too! I love him and he is the most important human in my life! But when do I get to just space out? Or think? Or write? So, I made the decision to wake up at 5:30 in the morning to get to the gym by 6:15. I have been feeling stuck in this postpartum body for too long, and it takes a toll on me emotionally for me not to move my body intentionally. Going to the gym gets me out by myself for a whole 2 non-work hours before everyone else even gets up and moving! The baby eats at 5:30, so I nurse her and put her back to bed and let my husband take it from there. I am back in time for breakfast with everyone at 8 o’clock!! I have only even been tempted to stay home and sleep in ONCE - and I regretted it so much that I guarantee I will make sure my booty gets out that door! Once the decision was made AND I stepped forward with ACTION, I realized how much I missed the gym in particular. I could get up and workout at home, but it just doesn’t have the same energy or motivation factor for me. I love the gym. The smell, the people, the atmosphere of it all! Ooooo it is so for me!!! And I am going again! This is one of the biggest steps toward self care I have made in the past few years. I will share my full testimony another day (or you can read my book ;)," the Psychology of Potty Training, The Art of Pulling Up Your Big Girl Panties"), but just so you understand a little bit about how huge this is for me, you need to know that just 4 years ago I could barely walk from the couch to the bathroom or stand at the kitchen sink to do dishes because I was so sick. I finally started to get better and that is when I got pregnant with Ezra and then 18 months after Ezra was born, Zyon came along… So needless to say, one of my main motivations is to get my strength back so I am not always weak or in pain. Proverbs 31:17 says, “She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms.” It is a mission of mine to be like this virtuous wife of Proverbs 31, and when the Lord highlighted this verse to me, it was like a whole new revelation! I always wondered how she did it all, and the Lord has really been speaking to me about this. But this particular verse says so much! She took care of herself. She strengthened herself physically! When we take the time to exercise and eat well, we have more energy and literal strength to offer others in our lives. Not to mention the boost of endorphins that comes from breaking a sweat and getting your heart rate going! So, it literally makes me happier and better able to handle the challenges of my day during this crazy season! A couple of other things I have put in place is taking a hot bath in the evenings and finding about 3 hours per day 3-4 days per week to work. Whether I am writing, studying, recording, or whatever, I have this time to focus. Well… I will have this time once we fully get into the routine, haha. There are so many things you can do for yourself that can help refill your well. I would encourage you to sit with the Lord and journal what it is that YOU need. If you don’t know what you need, you cannot communicate it. If you can’t communicate it, you won’t get it… It’s actually pretty simple - Notice I didn’t say EASY… But Momma, you can do this. It is soooo good to love you.
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Dr. Leslie BaylisPastor, life coach, aromatherapist, speaker, trainer, author, wife, and mother Dr. Baylis has a passion for speaking biblical truth into the lives of mothers. Her podcast, articles, and books, coupled with conferences and seminars, are centered around fostering a sense of freedom and purpose as each mother walks worthy of the calling they have received on their life, regardless of the circumstances they face. Archives
March 2021
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